bottled up thoughts in maroon and yellow

an excerpt from somewhere else: Today was worst then expected. Firstly i woke up late and feeling really stupid. Partly because i did not complete anything i set out to do yesterday. The hair cut, i feel wasn't the best and i didn't have time to do anything about it. Wore mismatched cloths to school, and felt terribly insecure the whole day. It's sad because i realised the way i feel about how i look affects my confidence. Undenaiably the world's full of people who judge people by their appearences, and i admit that i am one to. Yea, that's probably one reason why i feel so insecure. But yea, i remember there was a time where i didn't bother about such things, sometimes when i wear those outrageous pair of mango khakis, which my ex boyfriend hated, and some other guys think that i should just burn. I'm reminded why i bought them. Why i love them though everybody else hates them. Despite the fact that i think (I THINK) i look good in them another important reason i love it so much, is because i feel like i'm being myself. What inspired me to get it... i've seen people on the streets on town or whatever, yea and their wearing slacks or their own version of casual- i really envied them once, know i'm searching for my own style. If only terribly mismatched cloths were called style, my life would be FULL of style. Haha. Besides that, i'm starting to realise that i should be observant and more specific. Hair cut was bad... nothing near what i wanted... then again i didn't really know what i wanted... more like i knew what i didn't want. Didn't help. Well now i hate my hair. But i've resolved to stay positive about it, and stop being so self absorbed, i'm sure their bigger problems out there. ... well love makes the world go round. We're one way another, either searching for that special someone, trying to forget our last one, just deeply lost in someone elses eyes, or sometimes alittle abit of each. This kind of stuff strangely stays at the back of mind, in a dark corner of my brain, in a closet that can hold alot more then you'll ever imagine. Sometimes i like to keep stuff in there, so no one will be able to see them or reach them. But whenever there's stuff in there, even if i can't remember it presently it's always holding me back from smiling. Presently, yar it's in that closet, i don't think about it but i can't smile as well. ...