_Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I’m feeling like it’s a you-know world. I went out with matt, haha, my gay darling, had a good time, though it was short. We were just talking about people, friends, friends of friends, this person that person. Hot here Hot there. Somehow being with him, reminded me how much I wanted to go anglo, I still want to, although I know I’m not cut out for such. The irony is that you now you can get in, but you didn’t try. And that really sucks. Sigh. Hearing about all that made me feel inferior. Haha. Strange but honestly yes. It was smth I wanted-my dream. Their so many things I want to do, reachable yet I struggle with my conscience to go for it. Big sigh. Well anyway I kind of miss hanging out with matt, he still cracks me up. Had a good time, shopping, (still deciding on e over priced 50 buckaroos top plus another top), watching matt check guys out, nah, haha, watching matt’s chest turned nice hard boobs shake, watching his pimple, catching up, hearing about captain of the rugby team ian dominque, hearing how nick’s becoming the eye candy of most yr 1 girls. Haha. Happens all the time-ALL THE TIME. Anyway we bought bloody expensive chocolate, for our pimples-scrumptious. Haha. It was all good. Met Raj too and a lot of acjc people who were with him. Strange that I met Raj where he was getting his piercing. Haha. Before that, I caught up with niko, javelin & short put. Niko just flew back from Seattle/DC/states for awhile. It was nice catching up. Good ol trusty Javelin’s birthday! Although I couldn’t make it for your party. I don’t know but I miss Javelin. We didn’t hang out much, although there was a time. He’s someone I can trust yet I don’t really know him all that well. Haha. Yea. I’m getting all dreamy about the good ol times in secondary school, the people I’ve met, the people I would have liked to get to know better. Owells, No use looking at the pass anymore, I guess I’ve got to look towards the future ;)

I get this vibe that we’re all struggling. What’s cool what’s not. What’s “normal”, cos everybody does it, what’s not. What’s right what’s wrong. Living in this world is hard, being a Christian makes it harder.

There’s still smth really wrong with my laptop.

Songs on my head: coffee+tv & these words

darling scribbled at 1:47 AM
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