I don’t know, some how at the end of a Sunday looking back I feel like it’s been a bad weekend. Sat’s was a nightmare that bended in the middle, I couldn’t wake up early to study for my paper, got to the exam hall, smoked my way through. Then wasted time and money with drew finding a white top I didn’t like for the finals, then rushing there in a cab to find out that an e-mail that half of us didn’t receive was sent to inform us we didn’t have to wear LEE or a white top. Well, surprisingly people came, thank you kiw, keith and your friends, sexaye steph, darren, surya, andrew, 8tiam and sam. I really appreciate it and I feel like such an ars hole because I’ve been so busy I haven’t got the time to spend with every single one of you. Maybe I should be glad about winning the cash prize but somehow I feel kinda sad cos I just realized that I can’t spend a single cent of it cos of my debts! Still I thank God that I got what I got cos I didn’t see that coming. I shall not mention how I wasted my night away taking cabs, eating and drinking with the intention of getting into a club. To the extent of it being ANY fucking club but not being able to. My Sunday morning could have been better, I feel like such a lousy Christian now. But the tiring morning wasn’t in vain, the words “love never fails” reminded me that even though I have allow myself to lead a fucked up life, with fucked up intentions, his hand ain’t that far away. Then I went out with elohim, and I think I kind of disappointed Audrey a whole lot. I know it. Well at least I got some studying done today with, it was productive yea pretty missy shawny? Now? I guess I’m disappointed. It’s strange how we always get stuff we don’t really want and don’t get the stuff we want. I’m upset, yes, but hey even if I got it in the end, would I have taken it? Haven’t got this feeling for along time. It was nice for awhile. Thanks a lot none the less.
To the people who sms me-really sorry I haven’t been able to reply half of you, my phone bill is alittle too high for comfort this month.
“after the lights, after the party, after the drinks, after the winks, when you’re penniless and you’re all alone. You wonder is it worth it to be wasting your life chasing empty dreams, broken promises and living with false securities. Maybe I’m making it all up, maybe I’m just upset because I ain’t got what I wanted. I thought I had the variety, but ain’t it funny, since there ain’t no wow-aritety, isn’t it irony. I guess it’s his plan I only going to be having two? Eel somehow the thought of it makes me go euuul. I want a few more, to past the time, yet take it seriously, that ain’t too hard a rhyme. I guess what I portray, ain’t going to get me what I want, what a waste of time, effort money. I feel foolish for blindly believing, thinking and hoping that staying in the crowd gona get me going.”
