_Wednesday, November 03, 2004
I’m so tired and feeling the pinch of it all. Making a list, of all the desirables, I feel good when I think about, but when I face facts they just seem so unattainable. The truth is I’m becoming fucking broke. I’m overspending like a hell lot. Yet their so much more stuff I want to buy, and I keep thinking if I’ve already found that fucking job, I would have already bought all the stuff I really want. Birthday, I hope is going to make this feeling go away. But I doubt so, I doubt anyone knows about the desirables, well except for tony which I refuse to let him spend the money on such. Sigh, my dior saddle bag real soon… Speaking of which, xiao hua has totally ruined my special Wednesday. Irritating propaganda show right smack in the middle of my plan to book a nice place for some after party and before party. I wonder what’s it going to be like on that day, I’m just wishing and wishing that the desirables will appear right in front of me- I bet no one will be able to wipe off that smile on my face when I see them, where is that star of peline’s, the last time the magic worked.
darling scribbled at 2:31 AM