Recently life has been just a wind whirl of events, this stubborn heart of mine’s unwillingly finding time to lay all I have against you on the table, minus sarcasm hopefully so you won’t have the opportunity to cross the line again, with me tied to the tracks of an approaching train. And because of all these, I find myself just wanting to share with someone that really understands, it’s not about feeling better, but it’s about really understanding, and not using yourself as the bench mark of comparison. But whenever so, I just feel frustrated and foolish at the end of the day, cos I don’t get the desired understanding I seek, which is simple understanding and leave it as that, because I guess anything else would only go to show how little they actually comprehend about it all.

BEFORE- woke up to an early morning of bulging, frustration, regret and stress regarding the work at hand and my social life.

NEXT- What are you going to do? When you find out the list of desirables isn’t complete and time is running short. That you don’t have time for anyone, and the people you should be spending time with, just to keep the little existence of bonds aren’t exactly on top of your list, and yet at the end of the day you contradict yourself.

NEW- I sang that familiar song, alone, out of fear, out of desperation, I’m glad that I still turn to you, even when it’s only sometimes. Today after the song, I felt at peace, reminded me even though I’m just miserable about the way another crosses the line and how I have to suffer severely for no reason as a result- my holidays and 17th are just ruined and I find myself not really wanting to think about it or look forward to it. You’ll be there, even when I don’t turn to you. You’ll forever be my safety net that I fall on, even If it’s only in dark times that I remember.

If you knew what happened that early Tuesday morning at around 1 am you would know why everything is just in shambers.

SHOPaHOLIC desirables- Bestie- when are we going to buy heely-pointy-funky shoes. Recently fetishes such as all kinds of footwear, Birkenstocks, dunks, heels. Oriental china flat/pumps. Funky pants, belts, caps, funky earrings and little skirts. Funky Jackets, jeans, tweed jackets, funky tops, baby tees, tiny handbags and bag for school that can take my humongous lappy. Yup only just everything.